Another Frantic Taxi Ride to a Ryanair Airport, AHHH!

Lessons learned: Ryanair shuttle companies are shit. Okay, so the company isn’t Ryanair, but I still blame them. Because I can.

So, our flight from the Paris Beauvais airport was scheduled for 8:30 a.m. and the shuttle company had told us to plan 1 hour and 15 minutes for the trip. I therefore decided that getting on the 6:30 bus would give us plenty of time. So we woke up and hauled across Pairs, running through the Metro and making new friends with other Americans trying to fly out that morning too.

Now here the fun starts…We lined up ever so politely to buy our shuttle tickets and then joined the clusterfuck by the buses–and found out just how bad they’d fucked everyone over.

So, the bus company had a strict policy of only allowing people on 1, yeah 1, specific bus–the bus exactly 3 hours before their flight–and too damn bad if you’d bought a ticket already. The asshole German guy in charge, admittedly getting a raft of shit from everyone, had no intention of being helpful, not even to the people who’d only missed their bus by 10 minutes. As Rae and I were 1 hour “late” we were royally screwed.

So after getting a German death glare for daring to exist, I found our American friends from the subway (poor things had missed their bus by 5 minutes) and we agreed to cab share to Beauvais. Naturally, there was a convenient group of taxis really close and, while the rest of the world milled around like especially stupid and pissed off ants, we pounced on a taxi and headed off, really tired and grumpily.

I was strongly reminded of another taxi trip to a stupid Ryan-airport, though this driver knew EXACTLY where he was going, which was made abundantly clear to me when we passed one of the fucking buses and he began to gesture in amusement while chatting in French. Since I speak just enough French to order wine and not much else, I communicated my feelings with a rude gesture toward the bus, which amused the driver to no end.
“You go to Beauvais a lot?” I asked him, motioning toward the fucking bus, now passed. He nodded and said something about 11 guys in his company going to Beauvais every day. I snorted, guessing exactly why that was. And then, he said something about his company and the bus, which either means that the bus company and taxi are owned by the same people, or that they’re in cahoots and call the taxis when a big crowd of grumpy tourists gathers at the bus stop.

Conspiracies or no, we made it to the airport on time and a ridiculous fare of 140€ later, were on a plane to Milano. Of course, that was Milan (Bergamo) in Ryanair world, so we had another airport shuttle waiting for us at the end of the plane ride.

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